ABC is a television network that lives and dies by its dramadies. Since 2004, a drama/comedy by the name of Desperate Housewives has remained one of TV’s most-watched and sought-after shows. Its pilot rolled in a stunning 21.3 million viewers, the network’s highest premiere since Spin City’s ravishing debut. Due to this unparalleled success, both critically and commercially, it’s only natural for Desperate Housewives merchandise to begin popping up – from posters to a small clothing line, to now, here in 2006, a video game based on the series.

Desperate Housewives: The Game plays out like your typical PC life-simulator. Think of it as The Sims 2 with substantially fewer housing customization options and an adventurous, RPG-esque single-player campaign. You begin by creating yourself, your husband and your son. A few options are in place when crafting your character, such as hair style, hair color, and wardrobe, but nothing too extravagant. Additionally, your husband and son are not customizable at all, rather haphazardly generated to your liking.

The story at hand is your standard DH fare. You are the newest (“desperate”) housewife on Wisteria Lane, a small suburban area that appears innocent enough on the outside, but is filled to the brim with gossiping, back-stabbing and pretentious residents. You will join the likes Susan Mayer, Bree Van de Kamp, Lynette Scavo, Gabrielle Solises, and Edie Britt as you cheat, lie and scandal your way to becoming the most popular (and hated) mistress on the block.

Levels, or episodes, unfold by completing multi-layered goals that pertain to a thicker, deeper back-story. Objectives consist of making dinner for your family, calling your son’s student teacher to unravel why his grades are dropping, and upgrading your estate. Upgrades essentially include improving your appliances and other living devices, such as your shower and television, and don’t stretch too far beyond that. The only real modifications you can carry out on your home are choosing its floor and wall colors.

When you’re not tending to your to-do list, you are able to participate in a few mini-games. You can put your gambling skills to the test in a game of Texas Hold’em, please your husband and son by means of cooking them a quality meal, or attempt to outdo fellow neighbor Mrs. Davenport by busting your chops to have the best garden on Wisteria Lane. 

There are only a few locales in Desperate Housewives, one being the shopping mall and the other being the street on which you reside. The shopping mall is home to a couple of clothing outlets, a hair salon, a pharmacy, and a medical center where your husband and therapist are employed. In addition, there is a store by the name of AAA Temps that specializes in services such as catering, gardening and cleaning. To get to the mall, all you have to do is hop in your Chrysler Pacifica and you’ll instantaneously arrive.

Taking into consideration that my computer meets the recommended requirements, I find it quite shocking how poorly everything runs. The frame-rate is choppy, there’s tons of clipping, and the overall presentation is exceedingly lackluster. The visuals aren’t all bad, though. They’re very comparable to The Sims 2, but with a little less pizzazz and elegance. The character modeling and lighting effects are rather solid, and the game does an excellent job recreating the atmosphere of the show.

If this title has one strongpoint, it’s definitely its music. It possesses a subtle and delightful score that goes tremendously well with the show’s “hush-hush” sentiment. The voiceovers are surprisingly first-rate as well, especially considering that the cast of the show didn’t lend their talents – aside from narrator Mary Alice Young played by Brenda Strong.

Desperate Housewives: The Game may not sport as many features or options as other titles of its genre, but the developers have done something I never thought possible for a TV-based video game – created a fun experience that does its respective series justice. If it weren’t for a plethora of technical bugs, this could have been a true staple in life simulators.
 

Gameplay: 7.0

It’s lacking in customization options, but there’s still a good deal of content to partake in. The episode-style campaign is an absolute pleasure and will no doubt please fans of the show.

Graphics: 6.8

A profusion of visual glitches mars an otherwise very attractive game.

Sound: 7.7

I applaud the fine folks that voiced this game for their valiant efforts to sound somewhat similar to the real actors. They really did a superb job. Music-wise, the soundtrack is a pleasant and charming treat for the ears.

Difficulty: Easy

Desperate Housewives: The Game is obviously geared toward the show’s audience, meaning women who seldom play video games, if at all. Virtually every gameplay element comes with a tutorial.

Concept: 7.1

The fact that this one is playable and enjoyable is an achievement in itself.

Overall: 7.2

Desperate Housewives: The Game is an easy and pleasurable affair, albeit bogged down by some technical issues. Nonetheless, if you can get past its shortcomings and find yourself tuning into ABC every Sunday night, you should definitely give this game a try.