Ok, I like SpongeBob SquarePants when I am in the mood for total insane whimsy. Otherwise, he grates on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. With this newest game from THQ, we get to help the lovable (or irritating) SpongeBob SquarePants gather the resources and talent he needs in order to resurrect a TV Show that was cancelled before it was ever filmed. Such is his love for the characters of this show (Mermaidman and Barnacleboy), he scours the ocean floor and beyond—in hopes of finding actors/extras and goodies to help make the show happen. If successful, the show will go on. The adventure is yours to create in SpongeBob Squarepants: Lights, Camera, PANTS!

Along the way, he encounters friends and foes that he wants to recruit (he loves EVERYBODY)—or assist in his eternal need to be upbeat and helpful. He explores underwater caves, kelp and sunken ships in his quest to ensure the show gets made. There aren’t many games that allow you to explore an undersea nursing home and haunted sunken pirate ship — in the same day. That’s about as interesting as it gets, I’m afraid.

I thought this would be a novel idea and game to play. The characters are imaginative and interesting, and the terrain is relatively untouched in video games. Playing in space or some future world is common, but not so much is the world of plankton and saltwater. Throw in a crabby patty and some exploration — what’s not to like? With such potential, it’s hard to believe it is so far off the mark. This isn’t a horrible game by any means, but with the palette you’re offered from such a diversely stellar collection of characters, you’d expect them to do more with what they have.

As mentioned, you must get the TV show created. The producer has given up on it due to lack of interest in the auditioning process. SBSP wants the show to be made — and has offered to make it happen by getting “actors” (anyone with a pulse — and some without one) and props for the production. You must follow a map and some scenarios. Some are very obvious, and some involve some thinking. Those puzzle-solving portions are fun and can be a nice challenge, but most of them felt empty — no matter how much you work at a resolution. If one character refuses to do something without an object (example: a mop!), what do you think you need to find in order to make them happy (and join the troupe)? So, you consult the map, search/explore, and spread the wealth of your collected bounty in order to advance your cause. You literally make the action happen as you watch it unfold in front of you as if you’re watching an episode from the regular series. Sounds good, so why the hesitance to rave more about it?

It’s flat. The fun is minor and the grins are only obtained by walking in circles to exciting destinations such as to the center of a kelp forest. You walk and walk and talk to sleepy characters that you must convince to be in your show. There is a collection of dialog lines to ask the characters. Ask them in order, and with some common sense, and the pre-programmed queries will get you what you want (info or something more substantial). There isn’t much free-form to the game. You point your arrow in a pre-selected direction and click the mouse. He walks a few steps, then repeat until you get somewhere that allows you to do something more helpful. You can read signs, talk to people or pick up objects as you find them. You can pick up anything (no limits to your payload size). So, whipping out the previously mentioned mop is easily done. Hand it over and reap the rewards. Then, sigh and continue your zeal-less task. It is really, really boring. I had hoped to have some fun and laugh a little, but aside from some painfully dumb remarks, nothing makes you stay interested. Nothing pops out to resurrect a bad situation or make you feel like the last 20 minutes of walking was worth it. There isn’t any room for diverse exploration, and with the exception of some lame mini games, it’s play or sleep — sometimes at the same time.

The audio is good. You get to hear voices that will show your age (Tim Conway, for one). If you have to look that name up, you won’t appreciate how obscure it is to have him lend his voice to the game. Kudos for getting him … but why? No one that this is targeted to please (kiddies) is going to appreciate that a legendary, Carol Burnett comedian (and Dorf!) plays a character. There’s also Clancy Brown (Highlander movie and Superman cartoons), Brian Doyle Murray as a ghost, and even Charles Nelson Reilly (Match Game!). It’s a deep pool of voice talents, but aside from that splurge, the audio is nothing to note. SpongeBob sounds like … SpongeBob. There’s some underwater bubbling, but the music is annoying and worth an Options tweak.

The graphics are true to the show. The system/hardware demands are not tremendous, so modest PCs should handle it pretty well. I did not experience any glitches that are noteworthy. It looks, as it intends, like an episode of the cartoon TV show. Things “splash” on the screen with the flavor and flair of the 1960s Batman show. Silly, dramatic splashes that take up the whole screen … then pop away equally as fast.

In all, it drags when it should dazzle. It slows when you should be speeding things up. There isn’t much room to explore and make it a different game. With the sea floor as your playground, you’d expect to have more things to look at. Yes, you can walk to a lot of worlds, but when you’re doing it, there isn’t much content to keep you interested. There’s no sense of “wow… look what I found”—even if it has nothing to do with the game. One of the best explorations was the cave — which is at the beginning. Other places missed on their chance to let us walk and seek treasures of the eye and imagination. You just walk … and get to your destination. In a word, it is - rigid.  

Gameplay: 6.0
The game is very easy to learn and navigate. The manual is virtually useless — but that’s Ok. I like a game that you can jump into right away — unless it’s supposed to be a deep, engaging quest. This is a quest, but the other adjectives don’t apply. You point and click. SpongeBob follows your direction, and you follow your map. Rinse and repeat.  

Graphics: 7.0 
It looks a lot like the cartoon, which is the intention. I think you are supposed to make your own episode by playing this game, but it feels like it has not ended. Still, the visuals are true to the material and work well with minimal requirements. They do not attempt to make it look a real underwater world, but more of a colorful world of whimsy.   

Sound: 6.5
The voice talents are deep, but the sounds in general are short of being fun. There’s an occasional “Boink” in the action, but otherwise it swims along with annoying background noise … uh … music.    

Difficulty: Easy
Aside from a few puzzles to conquer and goals to achieve in the mini games,  there isn’t much to challenge you. That does not mean you will fly through it in an hour, but I was able to squash several large areas each time I played. It felt like a chore, though. Who knew that my checkers skills would ever be needed? Well, they weren’t here, either. Even a small child will do well against the opponent on the classic board game. Some of the other challenges might be more difficult.  

Concept: 5.5 
The lack of invention here is disappointing. While the idea of putting together a TV show seems like a fun premise for a game, it’s executed without any zeal or pep. 

Overall: 6.5
I wanted this title so I could explore the massive, amusing world that I see SpongeBob live in on the small screen. What I got was a tired, slow and unimaginative romp through empty places. Walking through a filler screen just to walk some more should at least give you some amusing, if not crazy, eye candy. Instead, you get seaweed and water. Lots of it. I’d love to see some more items thrown about — even if they’re just for looks (non inventory items). How about some creatures or attractions to interact with that don’t need to be part of the story? Just some things to play off of while shuffling along the trails? There’s nothing. It’s empty. It might play well in the hands of a young player that hasn’t otherwise played many games, but anyone that’s played a few games is likely to find this very disappointing.